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Family Court Cases
To be honest the day I was served with court papers was probably the worst day or my life, it also happened to be my birthday and I was all alone in the UK having just moved back from France. It scared me a lot, in fact I cried hysterically so if you're going through this now then I know how you feel I truly do. Feel free to contact me via the feedback page.
Here are the outlines of what I went through:
I had moved to France temporarily from the UK as my parents live there. Shortly after moving I discovered I was pregnant & decided to remain in France to have the baby & raise him there. When the baby was 4 months I agreed with the Baby's Father to return to the UK so he was able to play a role in the child's life.
4 days after arriving in the UK I was served with court papers in a case that I wasn't even aware of regarding my son. The Father had managed to obtain an "Emergency" hearing due to the "risk" of the child being "abducted" back to France where he had lived his whole life. The Father essentially used the court system to ensure that I had to remain in the UK. I then had to hand my child's passport over to his Father's Solicitors. I had to attend an emergency hearing the following week to defend myself. In the meantime I had to find a solicitor & spent many hours in her office making statements for the hearing. Fortunately the Father's Legal Aid was embargoed, perhaps due to me proving through e-mails exchanged between us that the grounds on which he had obtained the hearing was completely false.
However the stress & strain of this effected me very badly, I lost half a stone (I was breast feeding my baby still & so my health was of vital importance) & the child's needs were not taken into account at all. As a single Mother alone in the UK, with no family or friends close by, who would look after my child when I went to court or the solicitors?
I am now prevented from going home to France for longer than 28 days without written permission of the Father. As the whole court case was done to attack me due to me not wanting a relationship with the Father this won't be easily obtained, if at all! This "devoted" Father who was so desperate to see his child saw him twice in 4 months & turned up to the 1st contact stinking of alcohol. I didn't know anyone in the South of England & have been badly shaken by these events affecting my confidence & trust. I would like to be able to go back to France & cannot believe that I will not be able to.
I have spent a lot of time researching family law & I am truly shocked by what a Father can be granted. The one good thing about France is that if you don't pay then you don't see the child. Another interesting point is that the 1st judge who ruled on my case did so for no real reason. Because of the Hague Convention I couldn't actually have "abducted" my child to France without being made to bring him back - a point which the 2nd judge observed.
All in all a truly stressful procedure that still affects me to this day. I fear for what the courts may be able to do as in my opinion it really does depend on the judge. I was fortunate to get Legal aid and so a Barrister was able to represent me in court without me having to pay (very expensive).
Here are the outlines of what I went through:
I had moved to France temporarily from the UK as my parents live there. Shortly after moving I discovered I was pregnant & decided to remain in France to have the baby & raise him there. When the baby was 4 months I agreed with the Baby's Father to return to the UK so he was able to play a role in the child's life.
4 days after arriving in the UK I was served with court papers in a case that I wasn't even aware of regarding my son. The Father had managed to obtain an "Emergency" hearing due to the "risk" of the child being "abducted" back to France where he had lived his whole life. The Father essentially used the court system to ensure that I had to remain in the UK. I then had to hand my child's passport over to his Father's Solicitors. I had to attend an emergency hearing the following week to defend myself. In the meantime I had to find a solicitor & spent many hours in her office making statements for the hearing. Fortunately the Father's Legal Aid was embargoed, perhaps due to me proving through e-mails exchanged between us that the grounds on which he had obtained the hearing was completely false.
However the stress & strain of this effected me very badly, I lost half a stone (I was breast feeding my baby still & so my health was of vital importance) & the child's needs were not taken into account at all. As a single Mother alone in the UK, with no family or friends close by, who would look after my child when I went to court or the solicitors?
I am now prevented from going home to France for longer than 28 days without written permission of the Father. As the whole court case was done to attack me due to me not wanting a relationship with the Father this won't be easily obtained, if at all! This "devoted" Father who was so desperate to see his child saw him twice in 4 months & turned up to the 1st contact stinking of alcohol. I didn't know anyone in the South of England & have been badly shaken by these events affecting my confidence & trust. I would like to be able to go back to France & cannot believe that I will not be able to.
I have spent a lot of time researching family law & I am truly shocked by what a Father can be granted. The one good thing about France is that if you don't pay then you don't see the child. Another interesting point is that the 1st judge who ruled on my case did so for no real reason. Because of the Hague Convention I couldn't actually have "abducted" my child to France without being made to bring him back - a point which the 2nd judge observed.
All in all a truly stressful procedure that still affects me to this day. I fear for what the courts may be able to do as in my opinion it really does depend on the judge. I was fortunate to get Legal aid and so a Barrister was able to represent me in court without me having to pay (very expensive).
I do want to get both opinions across here and I do not agree with a child being used a bargaining chip
I am more than happy for my child to build a relationship with his Father but to go about it in such a manner was not necessary. I begged and pleaded after the court case that he did not put me through this again for mine & my son's sake as it left me in a real mess. To see my son's name on court papers was horrendous & although I keep them to this day I do so just in case.
My advice here is use this website & here is my story again
http://childrensvoicesinfamilylaw1.community.officelive.com/exparteapplications.aspx
Get advice and every source of information you can before you think this may happen. That is what I did & when I had the "rider" literally a man on a motorcycle in full leathers turn up at my door with court papers I was very scared, this then turned in to hysteria. I managed to calm myself down but having spoken to someone from Community Legal Advice I was in the system and had an appointment with a solicitor at 9.30am the next day http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/UsefulContactsByCategory/Governmentcitizensandrightscontacts/DG_195356
This is the blurb from the website
If you are living on a low income or benefits, you may be eligible for free specialist advice from legal advisers on issues including: benefits and tax credits; debt, education; housing; employment; and family problems.
The advice is independent and confidential. Community Legal Advice will ask you questions about your problem and find out what help you need. You will be asked a number of questions about your finances to see if you are eligible for legal aid.
I researched thoroughly about what may happen but I never expected to be taken to court "Ex parte". Very different from many people's circumstances but it truly means that I can never take my son "home" to where he was born, where I have support, family, friends, a house & a job if I needed them. My parents are now moving back to the UK but with the expected collapse of the Euro this is hardly ideal or easy. I cannot believe the court system but I was rightly granted a "Residency Order" and my ex had to abide by certain conditions when seeing my son. Only for a year though. Do not get me wrong, children need Fathers but there are ways & means to go about this. Not scaring a single parent half to death by a knock at the door. Do it the right way, talk, have mediation, meet on neutral grounds, have a family member or friend there that you both trust. Do not cope all alone or take such drastic steps as it takes a long time to recover.
My advice here is use this website & here is my story again
http://childrensvoicesinfamilylaw1.community.officelive.com/exparteapplications.aspx
Get advice and every source of information you can before you think this may happen. That is what I did & when I had the "rider" literally a man on a motorcycle in full leathers turn up at my door with court papers I was very scared, this then turned in to hysteria. I managed to calm myself down but having spoken to someone from Community Legal Advice I was in the system and had an appointment with a solicitor at 9.30am the next day http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/UsefulContactsByCategory/Governmentcitizensandrightscontacts/DG_195356
This is the blurb from the website
If you are living on a low income or benefits, you may be eligible for free specialist advice from legal advisers on issues including: benefits and tax credits; debt, education; housing; employment; and family problems.
The advice is independent and confidential. Community Legal Advice will ask you questions about your problem and find out what help you need. You will be asked a number of questions about your finances to see if you are eligible for legal aid.
I researched thoroughly about what may happen but I never expected to be taken to court "Ex parte". Very different from many people's circumstances but it truly means that I can never take my son "home" to where he was born, where I have support, family, friends, a house & a job if I needed them. My parents are now moving back to the UK but with the expected collapse of the Euro this is hardly ideal or easy. I cannot believe the court system but I was rightly granted a "Residency Order" and my ex had to abide by certain conditions when seeing my son. Only for a year though. Do not get me wrong, children need Fathers but there are ways & means to go about this. Not scaring a single parent half to death by a knock at the door. Do it the right way, talk, have mediation, meet on neutral grounds, have a family member or friend there that you both trust. Do not cope all alone or take such drastic steps as it takes a long time to recover.